My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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