yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
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