i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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