fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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