I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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