They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
