Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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