Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
