I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
