she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
