Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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