I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just high enough for therapy.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
