Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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