i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
