I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Use "feeling words"
Yay
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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