Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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