D3 body, D1 cock
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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