Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
