can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
