Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
