like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
