it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
