i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize