a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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