doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
