Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
