i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize