I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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