dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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