I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dual....:-)
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
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this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
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Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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