Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
