Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
if only i could text you this smell
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
