im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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