I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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