I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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