Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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