dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
