atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
