so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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