i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
