what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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