Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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