Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
im holly from the hills drunk
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Found the puke drawer
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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