You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
