U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
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