I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite