Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Every concussion has its silver lining
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
