You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
