Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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