The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Ambien. No doubt about it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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