I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
