Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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