he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
