Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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