My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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