wrigley field is MILF paradise
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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