I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
vagina is talking i cant
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
