nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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