Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
