worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
