She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
