went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
