was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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